We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just want nice things and good sex
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
