Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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