Sober January is a disaster.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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