I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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