I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
