Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
He about cried when I ordered pizza online. He said it was a miracle.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
Randomize
