Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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