I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize