Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
