tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
