I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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