i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
