I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
