He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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