Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I remember trying to cut the power to a house I thought was "too bright to understand the meaning of christmas". Pretty sure I blacked out down the street.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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