This is not my ceiling
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
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