it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
