Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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