The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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