So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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