hotel room ftw
420 ftw
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Randomize
