Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
