i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
