is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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