I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
