He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
