So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
we're making bets on your personal life
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
