Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Given he decided my interview was a date, showed up drunk and insisted on carrying me everywhere, we weren't off to a good start.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Randomize
