i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
