I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
there is puke in my bra ... again
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize