dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I just don't want to have to pretend at every family function she brings him to that he didn't hit on me first
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
