You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
