do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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