Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
