Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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