Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Randomize
