ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
being broke is really keeping my alcoholism in check
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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