you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
