Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Randomize
