last night i told the bartender i only have 3 days left to live so i wouldnt have to pay for drinks
this morning i woke up with a nothing but a pair of what i believe are fairy wings on - and the bartender in my bed
he thinks ill be dead by monday and still came home w me.. WTF?
messed up. what color are the wings?
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
