Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
