Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Randomize
