I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
