id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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