Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
That was an excessively violent trivia night
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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