I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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