Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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