My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
