They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Randomize
