New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
