Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
