the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
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