I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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