3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
he puts the penis in happiness.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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