Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
