i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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