My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
