dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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