you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
She even gives head with a lisp.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
