belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Randomize
