Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize