wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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