Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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